My Dearest Tim

Tim,

There are no words big enough for what we’ve walked through together these past 16 months. No map for the road we’re on. No perfect lines to explain how it feels to watch someone you love fight a battle so few understand. But even without the perfect words, I need you to hear this: you are not alone.

Not now. Not ever.

PNES may be unpredictable. It may try to steal moments, peace, strength. But it cannot steal who you are. It cannot touch your spirit — the man I love, who wakes up and tries again even when it’s hard. The man who carries pain but still offers gentleness. The man who faces fear but still shows up with heart.

I know there are days the wind blows cold. Days when you're tired. When your body betrays you. When the world doesn’t understand, and you wonder if it ever will. But I am here — not to fix you, because you are not broken, but to walk beside you. To sit in the storm with you. To hold you when it feels too heavy and to remind you: you are more than this fight. You are not defined by your seizures, or your pain, or the fear that comes with them.

You are defined by your courage.
By your tenderness.
By the way you still love — even when it's hard to love yourself.

So may the angels protect you.
May trouble pass you by.
And when the time comes far, far from now to go home to peace, may heaven greet you with the same love I see in your eyes every day.

But until that day, I will be here — in every quiet breath, every anxious hour, every exhausted sigh. I will be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Even when I’m not speaking. Even when I’m tired too. Even when we don’t have the answers.

This is not goodbye.
This is not giving up.
This is love — rooted and real and raw — the kind that stays.

So when the weight closes in, wrap my love around you like a blanket. Let it hold you. Let it remind you that no matter how isolated this fight feels… you are never alone.

May your tears come from laughing.
May you find friends who see you, really see you.
May each year bring more light than the one before, and may you never forget that your life — your existence — is worth gold.

If you fall, I will help you rise.
If you’re afraid, I will be your calm.
And when you need to rest, rest in me.

I won’t promise we’ll never struggle. I can’t pretend this journey will always be kind. But I will promise this:

You will never walk it alone.
My love will follow you — into seizures, into silence, into stillness, into the healing we both hope for and believe in.

You are my heart, Tim.
And even when the path feels unclear — you are never alone.

All my love, always,

Diane