Beauty for Ashes: My Search for Wholeness

I searched the world. And I mean that in the truest sense—not just in terms of geography, though I’ve tried relocating, hoping a new place would mean a new beginning. I searched in people, in plans, in achievement. I ran after recognition, the next “great thing,” the next moment that might finally make me feel whole. I tried to build a life out of the applause of others and the temporary highs that come from feeling like I mattered—like I was finally enough.

But none of it lasted. Man’s praise is loud and fleeting. One day, you’re on top of the world. The next, you’re forgotten, or worse—left behind. I thought maybe if I collected enough accomplishments, if I could point to a long list of trophies or milestones or even relationships, that it would eventually add up to some deep sense of fulfillment. But every time I reached one goal, the satisfaction evaporated quicker than I expected. The treasures I chased lost their shine as soon as I held them in my hands. They were never enough.

I kept thinking the next thing would fill the void. But the more I chased, the more I realized how temporary it all was. The world’s promises are empty compared to the longing inside me. I was always hungry for something more, something lasting, something real.

Then You came along.

And I don’t mean that lightly. I don’t mean it as a poetic metaphor or a vague spiritual moment. I mean You really showed up. Not in a polished, churchy way, but in the middle of my wreckage. You walked straight into the places I had sealed off, places I was sure were too broken to be healed. I didn’t have to clean myself up or pretend like I had it all together. You saw me—really saw me—and didn’t flinch. You put me back together, not just the outside of my life, but the inside, the parts I didn’t even realize were shattered.

For the first time, every desire didn’t feel like a hunger I couldn’t name. I didn’t need to chase after approval anymore. I didn’t need to numb myself with busyness or distractions. I didn’t need to hide behind smiles or carefully curated images. Because here, in Your love, I was finally safe. I was finally satisfied.

There’s nothing better than You. Not one thing I ever tried to substitute can compare. Not success. Not comfort. Not validation. Not even the people I love most. All of that is good, yes—but none of it can do what You do. Because only You can meet the deepest ache in me and not just numb it, but heal it.

You turned my mourning into dancing—not because everything suddenly became easy, but because You taught my heart how to move again, how to breathe again, even in the hard. You gave beauty for ashes—the burned, ruined things I thought were lost forever somehow became the canvas for something sacred. You took the parts of my story I was ashamed of, the ones I wished I could erase, and You turned them into glory. You didn’t just fix me; You redeemed me.

You’re the only one who can.

Everything else may sparkle for a moment, but only You hold the power to bring dead things back to life. You take the worst chapters and write new endings. You sit with me in the ashes and then teach me how to rise. I’ll never stop being in awe of that.

I searched the world. But the whole time, what I needed most wasn’t out there. It was You. And now, here in Your love, I know with all my heart: there’s nothing—nothing—better than You.