As I sit here on New Year's Eve, the house quiet and Tim resting peacefully nearby, I find myself reflecting on the tapestry of experiences that have woven together to create this past year. The warmth of the fireplace casts a gentle glow, inviting me to look back on the moments that have shaped us, challenged us, and ultimately strengthened us.
This year has been a journey of stark contrasts. My 62nd birthday came and went, a milestone that once held the promise of an approaching retirement filled with ease and joy. Instead, it marked a year in a life dramatically altered by Tim's PNES diagnosis. Our world shifted, becoming a bubble where the edges of reality often blur, each day a reminder of the injustices he faced and the ongoing battle we fight.
The struggle has been real and relentless. Balancing Tim's care with a full-time job has pushed me to my limits. There are days when being civil to those who caused Tim's suffering feels like an insurmountable task, yet I persist. It's a delicate dance of survival, advocacy, and self-preservation.
Amidst these challenges, there have been moments of profound beauty and resilience. Like the quiet evenings by the fire, where tears flow freely but are followed by a renewed determination to stand firm in our fight for justice and well-being. These moments remind me of my strength, even as I acknowledge the weight of our circumstances.
As the year draws to a close, I find my thoughts drifting to happier times – our magical trips to Disney World. Those precious days where we could shed our adult worries and embrace our inner children, laughing and playing without restraint. In those moments, life felt light, joyous, and full of possibility. The memory of walking down Main Street, U.S.A., surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of pure happiness, serves as a beacon of hope for what life can be.
Looking ahead to the New Year, I carry with me a complex mix of emotions. There's weariness from the battles we've fought, but also a deep well of love and determination that continues to fuel our journey. I dream of a future where Tim finds peace and his seizures diminish, where those responsible for his suffering face the consequences of their actions, and where we can find our new normal.
But more than that, I dream of recapturing some of that Disney magic in our everyday lives. While we may not be able to live in that enchanted world permanently, I'm committed to finding ways to inject moments of joy, wonder, and childlike enthusiasm into our days. Because even in the face of adversity, there's always room for laughter, love, and a sprinkle of magic.
As the clock ticks towards midnight, I make a silent promise to myself and to Tim. We will continue to fight for his rights and our well-being. We will cherish the quiet moments of peace and draw strength from them. And we will never lose sight of the joy and wonder that life can offer, even in its most challenging chapters.
Here's to the New Year – may it bring healing, justice, and moments of pure, Disney-like magic to brighten our days. We've weathered the storms of this past year together, and together we'll step into the future, hand in hand, ready to face whatever comes our way with courage, love, and an unwavering spirit.
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