Resting In His Love

I remember the reading of 1 Corinthians 13 in church making me feel the most wanting. Here were all the things I was supposed to do to be loving, and I could see my failures in every line. I'm not patient. I'm not kind. I keep records of wrongs. I'm jealous. I don't believe the best about people. I'm irritable and easily offended. I sometimes delight in wrong. I give up on people. This was the mirror magnifying all my flaws and lack of Christian virtues. Don't get me wrong—I tried hard to forgive, love, be kind, patient, and all I was supposed to be. But I didn't do a very good job, and my failings were blazing neon signs I repeated as reasons I wasn't good enough yet and needed to try harder.But now, I love this passage—not because I've finally mastered all I'm supposed to do in my own strength, but because I gave up on that. I came to terms with the fact that I can't drum up enough love for all of it.God is love (1 John 4:8), so everything in this passage is true about God. We can equate God and love. And since all of God is in Christ, and all of Christ is in God (Colossians 2:9-10), we have all of Love within us. We have been made complete in Him.If I live as a branch on the Vine (John 15), then the Vine's lifeblood flows through me to bear fruit. And that fruit looks like love. But I wasn't meant to produce the fruit. Instead, as I rest and turn to Jesus in each moment, I have in Him all that I need.Sometimes this looks like patience for people when they ask the same thing a hundredth time today. I can guarantee I don't have enough patience for that, but Jesus does. Sometimes it means kindness toward someone I dislike. Sometimes it means choosing not to compare my life with others' because I recognize the jealousy that stirs in me, and I can instead be thankful because of Jesus' non-envious love within me.I don't have to work hard to generate this love from my own heart. I can instead take three seconds to breathe and ask Jesus to be my safe place, faithful friend, calm and quiet, generous and considerate Lord. He is all these things to me, and out of His bounty, I can be all these things to others.Unfortunately, I don't always choose it. But more and more, I see how His plenty is what I need and want. My love fails often, but His Love is beautiful and tender toward me and all around me who desperately need it. As I soak in His Love for me, this Love begins to pour out to others. This Scripture is no longer condemnation for me, but a promise of the outflow of His Life.Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7