Overcoming the Weight Of Worry

Some mornings, the very act of waking feels burdensome. A thousand worries descend upon our newly roused minds—the relentless "what-ifs" that leave us feeling hopeless. What if I lose my job? What if my spouse leaves? What if we don't have enough money? We imagine worst-case scenarios, thinking it will somehow prepare us for potential hardships. Yet I have never met anyone who emotionally prepared themselves for difficulty through worrying. It simply doesn't work.As Corrie ten Boom wisely stated, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." Entertaining "what-ifs" harms us rather than helping.When we feel compelled to envision every possibility and brace for the worst, we are playing God—a role for which we are terribly unfit. No offense, but you make a terrible god. You lack the big-picture vision needed to prepare for what's to come. You also lack the strength to deal with tomorrow's challenges.Anytime you venture into the future alone, you go with far less than you could have. You have a God who is strong and exceedingly capable of being enough for you in each moment. Yes, suffering is promised. But we need not bear it through our own feeble strength. We have the power of the living God within us, access to all we could ever need for any scenario—not because we are super-Christians or have worried ourselves into preparedness, but because Jesus' Life provides all we need.Are "what-ifs" drowning you today? Will you surrender them to God, allowing Him to be enough for whatever comes? This requires trust, which is difficult. Otherwise, you are relying on yourself to be strong, patient, forgiving, and more. I know I lack what it takes for all of that.So let us shift our minds from worst-case scenarios and fix them firmly on things above. This does not mean ignoring practical realities while clinging to pie-in-the-sky ideals. It means recognizing our lack of vision and understanding of greater things. It means adjusting our mindset to the One who works in the physical and supernatural realms, for He knows all things and can direct us in the best way. And we walk forward in this physical world—cleaning, cooking, raising children, working—but we walk in the strength of Jesus, recognizing that only in Him will we be ready for the unknown.

God's Unwavering Faithfulness

Despite my daily doubts, worries, and mistakes, God's faithfulness astounds me. I may question His ways, but He remains steadfast in His loving devotion. His faithfulness is not mere tolerance but an outpouring of tender compassion. As Paul reminds us in 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "Faithful is He who calls you, and He will also bring it to pass."Amidst exhortations to be kind, patient, and confront sin, Paul inserts this reassuring truth—our ability to obey does not depend on us alone! I may feel incapable of showing kindness to certain people, but through God's faithfulness, I can extend grace even to those who offend me. He will bring it to pass.Our Heavenly Father's amazing lovingkindness reminds us that although we are lacking, He is willing and able to lavish us with love that overflows to others. The fruit of the Spirit is not something we generate but a product of the Spirit's work within us.Often, when I grow weary, it is because I have tried to manufacture patience, kindness, and love through my own efforts. Yet any good that comes from me results directly from God's faithfulness and life within me.Wonderfully, when we allow God's faithfulness and lovingkindness to spill over, we can remain faithful, patient, and loving toward even the most difficult people—those who would normally drive us away. (This does not mean remaining in unhealthy situations, but where God has called us, He will provide what we need.)The question becomes: God, have you called me to this relationship? If so, He will be all you need for it. You can rest, allowing God to be God—the persistent, faithful God who pursues us relentlessly, standing by us even in our foolishness. He is the loving God whose tender compassion made sending His Son to die a reality. Love, not duty or vengeance, held Christ on the cross.God is faithful, and He will work through you today. Rest in this truth and find peace in Him.

Unconditional Love Perseveres

When we spoke our wedding vows and committed to love each other "in sickness and in health," I don't think either of us could have imagined how greatly those words would be tested. The daily reality of your seizures and chronic illness has brought challenges we never anticipated facing in our marriage.Some days, the heaviness of it all feels overwhelming. The lost dreams, the constant uncertainty, the physical and emotional toll - it can be tempting to get stuck in the heartbreak of what this life looks like compared to what we envisioned. Yet in the midst of the hardship, I'm continually reminded of the deeper love that binds us together.True love is not based on circumstances or feelings in a particular moment. It is a committed, unconditional choice to lay down our lives for each other daily, no matter what. When I see you struggling against the limitations of your health, pushing through pain and frustration, I'm in awe of your resilience. Your perseverance and positive spirit inspire me.The vows we spoke weren't just pretty words, but a sacred covenant before God to be all-in, forever. For better or worse, your suffering has become my suffering. Your battles have become my battles. We are in this fight together, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are my family, the one my soul loves, and I will never abandon you.In the darkest valleys, it is love that sustains us and gives strength for the next step. It is a love that is patient, kind, and never gives up hope. A love that bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. When seizures rage and the path ahead looks impossible, it is this unconditional love that anchors us.While I couldn't have comprehended the depths of what "in sickness and in health" would entail, I'm thankful for the ways it has solidified the unbreakable bond between us. This shared journey has allowed us to experience a level of love that can only be forged and refined in the fires of affliction. A transcendent, eternal love that far surpasses temporary circumstances.So I will continue choosing this road of selfless, sacrificial love each day. Loving you not for what you can give or achieve, but simply because of who you are. Loving you with the same unconditional, covenant love that Christ has for His church. It is a love that will carry us through every battle, until we cross the ultimate finish line together.

My Beloved, My Strength

My heart aches as I watch you in the grip of another seizure. Though I know these episodes are not threatening your life, it's still utterly devastating to see you suffering so profoundly. Your body twists and convulses in ways that seem inhumane, as if some invisible force has taken you hostage. I feel powerless in those moments, wishing I could absorb the pain and trauma for you.The aftermath is almost as brutal - the confusion, fatigue, headaches, and emotional turmoil that linger like a dark cloud over you. I long to take that darkness from you, to be the steady light that guides you back to peace and comfort. You have walked through so much already in this battle with PNES, yet you handle it with incredible courage and grace that continually amazes me.Watching you struggle is one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. The man I love brought low by this insidious condition that has tried to steal so much from us. Yet in your suffering, I also see resilience, determination, and a strength of spirit that can only be fueled by God's sustaining presence. You fight this battle not just for yourself, but for our family, for our future together.My love, you are the bravest person I know. On your worst days when the seizures feel unrelenting, you still strive to be present for me, to keep me hoping for healing. Your tenacity and perseverance put the struggles of my day-to-day life into perspective. If you can endure such affliction with faith, courage, and even joy, how can I do any less?You are my inspiration, my rallying cry to live each day with profound gratitude and purpose. In your weakness, I see Christ's power perfected. In your pain, I witness the refining fire that burns away the temporal to reveal the eternal. Your life is a testimony to the God who promises to never leave or forsake us, even in our darkest valleys.I will continue to stand by your side through every seizure, every setback, and every small victory. My arms will be the refuge that catches you when you fall. My voice will be the one calling you back from the abyss with reassurance of my unfailing love. We are in this fight together, and with the Lord as our strength, we will prevail. You are the warrior who inspires me to battle relentlessly for our family, our marriage, our beautiful life together. I love you, always.

Beauty From Ashes

Looking through images of the burn scars from the forest fire my family endured at our cabin when I was a child, is an eerie thing. I remember it felt like a ghost town, abandoned and barren. Charred remnants of trees lay blackened and oddly shaped all around. I felt overwhelmed by sadness to see all the once proud trees cut down to just burnt sticks. And then, as He always does, God lifted my hanging head to show me the beauty. Beauty from ashes.

I suddenly saw the fantastic beauty of the flowers, especially the one called fireweed which grows abundantly after a fire. Apparently the fireweed is the first plant to grow after a forest fire burns through. The grass that was popping up through the ash was bright green, and gave a colorful contrast and spoke of hope for a new future. None of the beauty minimized the pain of the fire, but it seemed to give it new meaning—calling it forward to new growth. 

I talk to so many people who have had a forest fire in their lives, and some have had a few. They feel like their whole worlds lay blackened and reduced to ash. Sometimes they lit the match that started the fire, and other times it was someone else. Regardless of who started the blaze, they now stand in the middle of what seems like a hopeless burn scar. 

I know hope seems audacious in that moment. But hope is what will call you forward, allowing you to see the beautiful flowers and grass start to blossom and grow in the ashes of whatever your fire looks like. So often, though, we won’t acknowledge it. We want to keep focusing on the remnants of the pain. I’m not minimizing the suffering at all, but I am also saying that there is hope. 

God’s hope is always beauty from ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, a fountain of praise for the spirit of heaviness. He offers good news. He offers freedom from the past, present and future. He offers love that will not let you go. He proclaims a new way—not defined by the pain of the past, but blossoming in new beauty and new life. 

What do you have to do for this hope? Ask for it. Nothing earned or deserved, but rather simply accepted. Sometimes we don’t want to accept the beauty for ashes. We just want to stare at the charred remains of our lives, obsessing on the pain. I know those days well. We listen to the voices that tell us it’s all pointless and believe them. Meanwhile, the flowers insist on poking their heads above the ashes, calling us to look at their display and receive the beauty. And God’s hope does the same. 

Fireweed reminds me that all is not lost after the forest fires in our lives. Yes, there is loss and pain, but there is also hope. Hope for God to bring beauty from ashes as He promises. Hope for new life. 

The mighty Spirit of Lord Yahweh is wrapped around me because Yahweh has anointed me, as a messenger to preach good news to the poor. He sent me to heal the wounds of the brokenhearted, to tell captives, “You are free,” and to tell prisoners, “Be free from your darkness.” I am sent to announce a new season of Yahweh’s grace and a time of God’s recompense on his enemies, to comfort all who are in sorrow, to strengthen those crushed by despair who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful bouquet in the place of ashes, the oil of bliss instead of tears, and the mantle of joyous praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. Because of this, they will be known as Mighty Oaks of Righteousness, planted by Yahweh as a living display of his glory. Isaiah 61:1-3

Receiving without Expectation

I was re-reading the Christmas story this week; I know it's June but I find it so relevant to what I'm feeling right now with life. I’ve was particularly struck by Mary’s response to the angel when he announces that she will give birth to the Savior. Depending on the translation you use, she says “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.” “Behold, the Lord’s bond-servant; may it be done to me according to your word.” “As his servant, I accept whatever he has for me. May everything you have told me come to pass.” 

This sounds lovely, and I wish that would be my response in the same situation. But in reality, when you think through what this angel had just told her, I wonder if this was much more of a receiving than we imagine. This was receiving a lifetime of rejection, outcast status by so many who surrounded her in her little town. Although Joseph believed her and took her to be his wife anyway, I bet there were a lot of gossipers who did not believe her or understand at all what was going on. They made assumptions and wagged their tongues about what had happened to Mary. 

After giving birth to Jesus, Mary and Joseph had to flee to Egypt to get away from Herod’s proclamation to kill all the 2-year-olds to try to kill Jesus in the process. I’m sure when they returned to Nazareth, there was great bitterness from all the other families who had lost their sons who would be the same age as Jesus at that time. Again, rejection and outcast status prevailed. 

I realize what God is asking me is whether I will be willing to accept and receive His Word for me, even if it means a whole lot of pain. This doesn’t mean that God’s plan has constant pain, for there are good gifts throughout. I had never thought of how the gifts of the wise men would have been expensive enough to have paid for Mary and Joseph’s trip to Egypt and for them to live there for a time to escape Herod. (This is a note from the footnotes in the Passion Translation.) There was provision as well as sacrifice. 

I may not always know how it’s going to proceed, though, and I want to grasp at control. But what would it mean if I instead chose to receive and accept whatever God brings because I know He will provide for everything I need in it? I won’t know how, or what will come out of it specifically. But if my posture is to give thanks and receive, I can see more clearly to His promises.

I remember Corrie ten Boom said “Let God’s promises shine on your problems.” If God has brought something in your life, it is not empty of power! He brings both pain and plenty, and everything in between. But He also brings the way through, for He is the Way! Jesus knows the way ahead, and when I trust Him for it, I can see that nothing is impossible with Him. This is the place I want to go when I hear something from Him that I think is crazy and completely too much. I want to respond with acceptance through receiving, and an expectation of how He will be the Way through. 

No matter what you face in life right now, try instead of dread and fear to turn your face expectantly for how God will bring power to His promise and lead you all the way through. 

Choosing Your Choices

So, someone around here (that would be me) thought it would be a fun idea to get a puppy to help Tim with his current medical issues and to be a companion during those tough seizures, when I'm not around. And don’t get me wrong, she was a cute little bugger. Right now, though, after several nights of sleep deprivation trying to get her housetrained and crate trained, I had to make a tough choice and bring her back and wait for a better time in life to try again. Instead of moving into regret, I’m reminded again of the importance of choosing our choices.

Throughout life there are choices we have made, and many more that are made for us without our blessing or input. We often want to get angry, sad or depressed about whatever choice has been made for us, and sometimes we do it about our own decisions as well. I have been stopped in my tracks though when God asks me if I will choose to follow Him in whatever it is, even if I don’t like it. I would much rather throw a fit about it, and sulk in my disappointment. But if I choose my choices, I can change my attitude, and take advantage of the power Jesus’ indwelling Life brings to whatever situation it is. 

You see, nothing is too big or too much for Him. Not a rejection or betrayal, not a tough marriage or a difficult child, not an unwanted move to a place we don’t want to go or a mess of a world that presents itself every morning upon our arising. If I invite Him into my mess, I am able to choose my choices and let Him be enough for each need throughout it. I want to be led by my Shepherd, following His gentle voice as it leads me through things I don’t think I can make it through. Even when the world looks dark and everywhere we look is something terrible, we can still have hope that He will be enough. So, we focus on showing up for our lives in whatever small way we can, inviting Him into each moment. 

This means that we are not controlled by circumstances, but can look beyond them to what God is doing through them. It’s not that God is trying to make us miserable, but rather that He can bring beauty out of all sorts of ashes. When we maintain our victim mentality rather than choosing what is in front of us, we live in constant reaction. We are dependent on our circumstances to try to find happiness, but when that isn’t consistent, we react. What freedom to be able to find joy in any situation!

I know things can look really daunting right now. So much screams of the agony of the world as it needs a Savior. We can allow it to take over, and we feel like everything is spinning out of control. But it’s not. We get to speak truth to ourselves, that Jesus is with us no matter the fire that seems to surround us, and He will carry us through. We get to choose our choices, recognizing that we stand on a foundation much stronger than our own strength. From that position, we can move forward with joy and peace no matter what the circumstance looks like. 

Unwrapped Gifts

My friend Lynn said something profound recently—well, she says lots of profound things, but this one particularly struck me. She was talking about seeing the small joys even when they weren’t exactly what you wanted, and she called it receiving the unwrapped gifts. This phrase made me think of how often I only want to be grateful for the gifts that are presented in the way I wanted them, enclosed in a pretty paper and topped off with a bow. The ones that present as less desirable, or not quite what I requested seem more difficult.

I thought of the days that were supposed to be incredibly special or beautiful like holidays or celebrations, and how they often seem hollow compared to the expectation I had set for them. Then other days surprise me with the lovely family time or special gifts that they bring when I didn’t expect them. Will I receive these gifts even though they don’t come wrapped up and in the time I wished for, or will I stand like an ungrateful child, despising them because they didn’t come the way I wanted?

God also reminded me of so many stories throughout the Bible when He does things in ways that no one expected or planned. I call them upside-down-and-backwards-gifts. Couples who wanted children in their youth when they were “supposed” to come, and instead received a very important child when it should have been impossible physically for them to reproduce. Victories in battle through the weakest and most fearful rather than the bravest and strongest. Battle plans that involved walking around a city for the walls to fall, rather than attacking with fierce fighting. A baby that was born to be king, but not in the way that many expected in taking Israel back from the Romans. Instead, He would defeat the very powers of darkness and evil that wrecked our world to begin with, and His battle was much bigger and longer-lasting than many had anticipated. 

I realize that perhaps the unwrapped gifts, the unexpected victories, the weakness that shows more clearly the power of God, is all really the best thing. When I can receive these with a perspective that demonstrates the position God has already given to me, and with a viewpoint that rises above the fray, then I can be overwhelmed with gratitude for His gifts, no matter how they appear.

I believe that God’s focus for me in this is to learn to receive the unwrapped gifts with expectation and hope. I want to encourage others to do the same, as we look together for the upside-down-and-backwards ways the Father loves on us. I want to receive the gifts as love, not misery. The Father knows how to give good gifts to His children—they may just not have a pretty bow on top.

Blue Monday

I read an article the other day that the third Monday of January is called Blue Monday. I know it's June, but I found the article intriguing. Apparently, many people are struggling with being done with a fun time of year at Christmas while still having the bills, the failed New Year’s resolutions and the cold weather. Whether you call it seasonal affective disorder or just the winter blues, many people really struggle with discouragement, lack of motivation, depression and hopelessness during this time of year. 

I wonder how much of that is our sense of failure, as we realize we spent too much money at Christmas, ate more than we wanted to, or didn’t keep any of the resolutions we had set up for ourselves at the beginning of the year. So often we define our mood by our sense of accomplishment, and a bad mood starts with feeling like we have only failed at everything.

Last week I felt myself going into the funk of discouragement. I was tired and worn out with dealing with a lot of physical and emotional issues in my family over the last month.  I cried out for something to give, for the “normal” to return and with it, peace. I forgot something, though, as I tend to do. 

My hope and peace are not found in everything going great, in how much I have succeeded (in whatever terms I state that success) or in the lack of struggle. I can have peace and hope no matter what is going on around me because Jesus’ Life within brings a living, energetic hope in Him. Sometimes I need some forced rest to remember this, as it makes me stop all the performing and just sit with Jesus. In those quiet moments of His reminding me of His love overflowing in my heart, I am able to find hope and even joy. Everything doesn’t have to be going the way I wanted it, but rather I will choose to trust God in it. 

I realize I can take my hands off and stop trying to control. I can rest. There is something about winter that reminds us that the plants don’t bloom all year round for a reason. God has created them to be quiet in the winter, while He works all sorts of miraculous things inside them in order to make spring possible again. I wonder if perhaps we need to redefine Blue Monday as Resting Monday. It’s ok if you don’t get a lot achieved or don’t have a lot of motivation. It’s ok to just sit and soak in the love of God for you. 

Of course, you will achieve things again. But I don’t want to rush past the time of God’s reminding me that I have a living, energetic hope in Him and access to it every moment of every day. He will empower me to live even the most discouraging seasons of life. Sometimes I just need a little rest to remember. 

Remedy For Fear

Fear in our society has gone from being an obsession in our own private minds to a constant surrounding presence. Everywhere we look, someone is calling out another problem that should cause us to be afraid. Sometimes I feel like a pinball, bouncing from one thing to the next—all of which are supposed to make me constantly fear. In fact, the prevailing opinion seems to be that if you do not live in anxiety all the time, something is wrong with you, or you are being ignorant. 

I find it interesting that God focuses on fear so much in the Bible. I have heard it said that some form of “do not be afraid” is in the Bible 365 times. I believe, though, that God always provides a different way. It is not just a condemnation of fear so that we man-handle ourselves into judgement so we don’t fear. Instead, God tells us don’t fear, instead pray, trust, believe. He gives us something to put our energy toward rather than just telling us not to be afraid. 

I was looking at a few of the more common fears today, and looking at God’s remedy for each of them. I want to move past just telling myself not to be afraid and understand the way in which God has provided an escape or a safe place to deal with the fear. 

One fear that is a struggle for many of us is the fear of inadequacy. What if we walk around our daily lives constantly feeling as though we are not enough. I hear a lot of people try to combat this feeling with a recitation that they are, in fact, enough. I don’t find this entirely helpful, though, as just saying something doesn’t make it true or believable. Instead, I think we have to push into the weakness, real or imagined, and admit where we are. 

Jesus says that apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5), so you’ve already met His standard! He isn’t afraid of our weakness, nor does He try to cover it up. Instead, He says that as we recognize our weakness, we can ask for His strength to make up the difference. We are enough because He is enough through us. The really cool thing about this is that no matter what the outcome, He is still the one who provides enough. We don’t have to try to manipulate the situation, or run through proofs of what you’ve done right so that you can try to help yourself believe it. I have definitely done both of those in an attempt to prove that I can be enough on my own. Spoiler alert—it didn’t work. Instead of running away from weakness and inadequacy, push right into it! Admit where you are not enough and ask God to be what you lack. The strength, then, is dependent on Him, rather than you trying harder.  

Another problem can be the fear of being out of control. This is an interesting one especially because I think we can realize at some point that we actually have very little control, so the fear of being out of control is more a reality rather than a hypothetical. We can deal with this in two ways—one is we try to clamp down and take control back by controlling people, environments or anything else we can attempt to dictate. Although this may make us feel like we are strong and unafraid, it really is just a denial and leads to manipulation, isolation and bad relationships. 

The other option is to admit the lack of control, and push into trusting the God who does hold control. Obviously, this can be difficult if our emotional concept of God is damaged, where we believe things about the character of God (even though we may rationally know it’s wrong) that cause us to run away from Him or not trust that His love is real. I think if control is an area of struggle for you, I would start with asking God to reveal who He really is and how He meets us emotionally, rather than continuing to believe lies about Him. Then, we can see that trusting Him makes an incredible amount of sense, and we can rest in Him. We can believe that no matter what He brings, He will also provide for every need so we don’t need to fear the future. 

What about the fear of being found a failure.  We can manufacture and maintain a façade which tells the world we are fine, or even better, that we are succeeding! But behind the image we are projecting, we are terrified someone will find out who we really are. Image maintenance, though, leads to performance and comparison, not love or genuine relationships. I would suggest that vulnerability begets vulnerability, and more often than not, relationships that are much more satisfying.

I discovered that I can’t compare and love at the same time. I’m commanded to love my neighbor, but I really was just comparing myself to my neighbor and there was no time for love after that. God called me to start looking at every woman I met and finding something beautiful about them. Complete strangers in the grocery store or post office became a testimony of God’s love for them and me as I looked for something in them, rather than comparing myself to them (and usually finding myself lacking and judged). I have yet to meet a woman in whom I can’t find beauty, whether it be her eyes, style, laugh, smile or determination.

When I am afraid of being found out as lacking, I can’t love anybody. When I let down my façade and quit trying to tend to it, I can really see others and love them behind their own images. This is so freeing, and much less exhausting!

What if, instead of allowing different fears to dictate our lives, we pushed into relationship with Jesus first in prayer, love and trust? When we do this, we are filled with peace that makes no sense, which protects us in a way that no fear ever could. 

My Shepherd

I am invited into a friendship.
The kind I’ve not known before.
No rejection or conditions,
And weakness is my qualification.

My Shepherd wants to take my cares,
My worries, my struggles, my fears.
He lifts them off my shoulders—
I feel so lightened and free!

My Shepherd is tender and gentle.
He catches every tear in my eyes.
He is compassionate and caring,
Never impatient or condemning.

My Shepherd is an oasis of refreshment.
He nourishes and provides for every need.
He ushers in the weary,
To renew their strength and help them walk.

My Shepherd desires me!
He wants me to come to Him.
He stands and waits for each one,
Never changing in the love He carries for the world.

My Shepherd is easy to please.
For His desire is my dependence.
Just following Him and taking His hand,
Is all He’s really asking me to do.

My Shepherd doesn’t cringe at my wounds.
He doesn’t turn back in disgust.
He gently takes my pain,
Offering the balm of healing and hope.

My Shepherd leads me on.
He knows I need some guidance.
He calls out right or left,
Empowering me to take the next step.

My Shepherd loves me so.
He sees my every joy and pain.
He desires my approaching Him boldly,
Asking for His intertwining in my life.

My Shepherd is my friend.
He offers peace in every situation.
He wants me to rest in Him,
And there I find a new Way of Life.

When God Doesn’t Change My Suffering

I’ll be honest—there are many times that I yell at my kind Father because I am confused about why He is allowing certain suffering, or how long He is taking to get people out of it. Sometimes it’s my own waiting that pushes me to frustration, while other times it’s growing weary in praying for others in their particular situation. The agony of the “not yet” seems to suck all the hope out of us, leaving us with the constant pestering question that children have asked for decades—are we there yet? 

In one of the recent podcast interviews I listened to, Sherry Roberts talks about how God asked her if she wanted Him for what He could do for her, or for Himself. And that’s got me thinking of how often I really want hope to be in the future relief or change that will bring me comfort. I don’t want hope to be found in the person of Jesus, but rather in getting what I want. My ultimate goal is often to be comfortable, to not suffer, to avoid all the bad stuff. 

So many times, though, I see that the removal of the places I find life, comfort or security are really the keys to freedom and becoming fearless. And no, I don’t like that any better than you do. I often throw a little temper tantrum about it even, like a small child who doesn’t get my way. I definitely never expected my life to be here, and wouldn’t have predicted it years ago in looking ahead.

I have to balance this with the other side, as I also don’t believe God just wants us to be sad all the time. God loves you and has a miserable plan for your life—that’s often our concept of Christianity. We either believe suffering is all there is to life and so we might as well just get comfortable with misery, or we believe all suffering should be avoided and so we fight tooth and nail to get out of it.

What if, instead, we discover that the gift of hope, security and even faith is found in relationship with Jesus? The point isn’t to be miserable, maybe, but to recognize things in their proper order. The good things in life aren’t supposed to be shunned, but they can’t be what holds us up or makes us happy. Instead, as we push deeper into relationship with Jesus, we can enjoy the additions without needing them. 

What if the point of this life wasn’t to finally come to a place where you were comfortable and safe, as defined by no chaos happening around you? I do find it improbable in looking back over history that humanity will ever settle down into something that resembles order. There is always someone willing to entertain evil and move the world into chaos again. So, if you are waiting for the world to make sense and calm down, you may wait your whole life. If, however, you maintain a connection with the One who is your place of security no matter where you go, it doesn’t matter what chaos is happening around you.

I’m not saying we should deny the emotions that come with this. But we have to guide emotions also. So, do I get freaked out about the mess in Ukraine, or the problem of viruses, or the thousands of other issues throughout the world? Yes, absolutely. And the Father, in all His tenderness, calls me back to walking with Him, step-by-step. I will not fix any of the craziness by obsessing or worrying about it. I can, though, step into a place above the fray as I recognize the One who holds me, who holds the future, and who is interacting constantly with everyone across this crazy world. He must be my peace, not when the conflict is over. He must be my hope, not when my dreams are realized. He must be my faith, not when it all makes sense to me. 

Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:6-7

Peace In Belonging

I’ve been stewing on the concept of belonging for a few weeks now. You know when it feels like everything you read or listen to talks about the same thing, and you realize God is trying to tell you something? That’s how it’s been for me with this concept of belonging. 

How does belonging change the way you view your life? We are all looking for a place to belong, for a people group or tribe who will rally around us, telling us we matter and have worth. Unfortunately, people are often rather faulty in doing this consistently, and end up failing us. 

It blows me away that the God of the Universe reverberates over you over and over, saying, “I desire you. I want relationship with you. I want you to receive my love. I will never stop drawing you close to me, hoping you will see my incredible love for you.“

If we find belonging in the One who holds eternity and our lives together, I think we can face much suffering (which is a natural part of human life) without falling apart entirely. If we know that someone still wants us, even when we feel most unwantable, we can face much discouragement with an unabashed hope. 

Jesus, our Kinsman-Redeemer, has rescued us. A kinsman-redeemer in Israel was a man who took responsibility for a widow by providing for her and taking her into his family so she would not be destitute. (Read Ruth if you want to get a beautiful picture of this in action.)

Jesus has proven how much He values us in that He was willing to die for us to be with Him. He has called us by name, adopted us, brought us into His family and called us His children. We belong to Him. We belong. No more searching wondering who could want us in the state we find ourselves. 

God says no matter how people get it wrong in your life, you always have a place with Him. No one gets to convince Him that you aren’t worth it. He has placed worth on your life, on relationship with you. He has continued to pursue you down every path, waiting for you to turn and find true love in His eyes. 

If you have ever felt as if you didn’t belong, like you were rejected by the rest of the world and could never find a place to land, consider Jesus. He responds with excitement and great enthusiasm, for He has waited a long time for you to come to Him. He says, “I want you. I choose you.” What peace in belonging to Him!

The Point Of Prayer

Prayer has ignited a struggle in me more often than a lot of issues. I knew it was important, but so many times it seemed like trying to force-feed myself when I am feeling sick. What is the point? Why should we pray? What good does it do? Am I doing it right? These were all questions that plagued me when it came to praying.

I don’t claim to have it all figured out at this point, but I do have some thoughts on the matter as God has brought a bit of revelation about talking with Him. 

That’s what prayer is after all—a conversation with the One who knows you inside and out, who has chosen to love you and who has promised to never leave you. So, at least you know that no matter what you pray, He will listen.

I think we often think of prayer as a Christmas list we offer to God to ask Him to give us some things. Or a list of grievances we bring to Him, demanding like an angry toddler that He relent and change our circumstances.

As I’ve been asking God to help me understand prayer, He has shown me that it is so much more than a presentation of information or requests. There is a communion involved, a sharing of intimacy and conversation as I come to a place that pulls me above the circumstances to see a relationship that goes beyond. It is a safe place from which to view everything else, bringing a perspective shift and an empowering unlike any other. 

Corrie ten Boom says, “The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love.”

I think we want to know what the “something” is that He is going to do—make sure it checks out with what we wanted from Him. But there is something so beautiful in the surrender of our plans, dreams, desires into His care. We leave them all with Him as we pray--all the precious people for whom we care, all the worries about how He is going to bring His promises to fruition, and all the aching places of hurt for which we need His healing. 

Nothing is impossible. But it may not happen in the way we thought, or in the time we thought. Or it may not happen at all—not because God is sleeping or didn’t hear us right, but because He sees the bigger picture and is working out something in us in the process. I don’t like the process of transformation very much sometimes. It requires pain and suffering that I don’t appreciate. But the goal is good, and I realize when I come to Him to lay it all out before Him, His goal is my good and He is loving me along the way. 

Sometimes this communion with God is His allowing me to process through the frustration of my day to get to the place of praising Him, even if I don’t have resolution yet. Sometimes it is pouring out my desires for others—peace, freedom, hope. Sometimes it is simply crying “Jesus” because I can form no other words. Sometimes it is joy-ridden thanksgiving as I see His love pouring through me and over me. 

What I want, though, more than anything in prayer is that communion, the connection that comes from sharing deeply and intimately with the One who turns His face to me and wants to hear everything. He knows it already! But He wants to hear it from me. He wants to shower me with belonging, with tenderness. He wants to remind me that He holds the future, and I can trust Him with all my worries. He wants to bring fresh revelation and resurrection life in the dry bones of so many areas of my life. 

What does this require of me? Simply, come. Come to Him. He knows what I need before I even say it, but His desire is always for relationship. Prayer is fostering a relationship, tending to a beautiful intimacy that surpasses any human relationship I could muster. The responsibility is always at His feet, but He desires me! He wants me to recognize how near He is always. My hearts responds with a resounding, “Yes!”

My Peaceful Oasis

Do you ever feel burned out? Like you’d just like to pack up and run away from your life? Maybe it’s work, or maybe it’s the kids, the marriage, the bills, the house issues, the health problems, the recovery from trauma. It kind of feels like a little kid running to hide under the covers to protect them from the monsters in the closet—it probably won’t really change anything to run away, but it feels like it might be helpful somehow.

I feel that way sometimes. I want to hide from the parts of my life that feel too hard, too painful, too much work. Hiding doesn’t fix them, but at times it feels like the only way to deal with it all.

The communication from the world is generally—keep going, don’t quit. The communication from the church sometimes is—keep working, don’t let anyone see you are hurting. The communication from our own selves is—keep trying, your worth is tied up in not quitting.

But I think all these voices are wrong. Listen to what Jesus says:

“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” Matthew 11:28-39

And another favorite translation in the Message:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

When I read these verses, my soul cries, “Yes!” I’m weary, carrying a heavy burden, burned out on religion and everything else. So, what do we actually do?

First, we come to Jesus. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? So often, though, there are a million things in the way of us coming to Jesus. Our pride, our feelings of failure, our standard (the one that’s higher than God’s, by the way), our lack of focus, our anger, whatever it is that blocks us from just coming to He who loves us—we get to ask Him to push these away so we can simply come to Him. I don’t think it will necessarily make sense at the time, but we will see these obstacles become less and less impacting as we start to believe that God shows up no matter what we think will limit Him and His love. Spoiler alert—nothing does!

Second, let Him refresh us and bring real rest by joining our life with His. That may mean recognizing we need to quit something because we aren’t called to it anymore, or maybe we are not called to a relationship or a person in the way we used to be or thought we were. Sometimes that’s hard to come to terms with, but necessary for us to enjoy God’s strength and provision to meet the relationship where He wants it, rather than where we think it should be.

Sometimes that means inviting Him to be whatever we need for each and every place that seems stressful and burned out. He is the God of the impossible, and that includes your impossible job, spouse, child, health crisis, house issues and recovery from trauma. None of this is too much for Him, and He wants you to join your life with Him so that you can rest even while moving. Yes, that seems like an oxymoron, but when you experience the oasis of Jesus within that you can drink from when you feel parched and dry, you can reapproach whatever life is bringing with refreshment and new life.

Have you ever been so thirsty that it felt like your throat was cracking and you couldn’t think about anything else but water? Maybe that’s how you approach your oasis in Jesus. That’s ok. He will satisfy and quench your thirst in a way you never can find in anything else. Come and drink. Come and be satisfied. Come and know rest in a way you have never known it before.

Third, learn the unforced rhythms of grace. This is one of my favorite phrases in the Message. Doesn’t it sound like a dance? Like walking with Jesus in a pleasant, easy way that demands nothing from you. But it is a learning curve—we don’t know how to do this automatically. Be patient with yourself as He teaches you what this looks like. Every day, ask Him to teach you the unforced rhythms of grace that carry you along with rest and peace in situations that are neither restful nor peaceful.

I find it interesting that this passage does not say that whatever caused the weariness or heavy burden is lifted or changed. Sometimes I think God does free us from it. But often, He frees us IN it. I read a quote that shook me from Vaneetha Risner the other day. She says, “While being delivered from affliction is a great mercy, being delivered by affliction is a greater one.” Read that again. I never thought about being delivered BY affliction. I want it to be dealt and gone. But God can provide rest in the middle of whatever situation in which we find ourselves burned out and weary.

So, if you are burned out and sick of it, come to Jesus, allow Him to refresh you and draw you into rest, and learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Let God lead you in the way of rest, finding peace IN the circumstance, not just when you get out of it.