Feeling Stuck

Have you ever had a time when, for lack of a better description, you just feel stuck?  Unsure of how to go forward, but aware you can’t stand still?  Feeling stuck is actually a clear indication that something in our lives needs to change.

Whenever I find myself feeling stuck it’s because I have a decision I need to make and I can’t seem to get myself to make it.  I talk myself in circles in my head without ever coming to a conclusion on what choice to go with until I’m so tired of thinking about it that I tell myself I’ll table it for a while longer and come back to it when I have more clarity…which only seems to sink me further into that feeling of being stuck… 

What I’ve found is that if I want to get unstuck, I’ve got to be willing to make a decision – I’ve got to make a choice and begin moving forward with it.  I can’t keep waiting for every doubt I have to dissipate, or for all options positives and negatives to become perfectly clear, because chances are they’ll never be completely clear – and frankly I don’t think they are meant to be totally clear because if they were we’d lose the opportunity to exercise our agency and grow in our experience. 

I find that right versus wrong decisions are the easiest to make, especially when you know what your values are. It’s those good, better, best decisions that I find to be tough, or choosing just one out of multiple good options which tends to be toughest of all – that’s where I most often find myself feeling stuck.  I sit and weigh all the good options and fret over how choosing one eliminates the opportunity of the other and so on and so on…

Committing to something when we haven’t figured out beyond a doubt which option, we find best is scary. But perhaps we are overlooking the fact that staying stuck is probably the scariest option of all – there is no happiness in staying stuck, there can be no growth or progression while we are stuck, and while we stay stuck, we are missing every opportunity. The thought of that should be much scarier than making a choice is. 

We will remain stuck until we make decisions and start moving forward with them. The best we can do is to use our values and the knowledge we’ve gained to make the best decisions we know how. After that we can trust that God’s got guardrails in place to help protect us from falling off the road, He wants us on

 

Put On Your Oxygen Mask First

I sat staring at the computer screen.  It was an empty page to begin typing todays blog onscreen and I sat watching the curser blinking at me.  I thought to myself “What can I write about today?”…several more minutes went by as I sat staring at the screen….that’s when I realized “I got nothin’”…My mind was blank…I was emotionally and physically exhausted…

It’s not that I’ve pushed myself any harder than usual – heck all I’ve ever done is push myself  – so I should be used to that life by now!  I think the exhaustion stems from having several of my friends going through really hard things all at the same time right now.  These last few weeks I’ve had several friends dealing with not just small heartaches, but major ones, the kind of heartaches that break my heart to hear about.  And when my friends or family hurt, I hurt.  But I wasn’t the one going through the hard thing so why was it impacting me to the point of feeling emotionally exhausted?    

In an article written I read today it explains:

“There are real consequences to caring deeply for the struggles of others. After all, when you empathize, you do more than just feel concern; it’s not uncommon for an empathizing person to “take on the sensory, motor, visceral, and affective states” of another, known as experience sharing, according to Jamil Zaki, a social scientist at Stanford. In a study about empathy, Zaki uses the example of a crowd watching a tightrope walker becoming physically tense, anxious, even sweaty, as they watch the person teeter high above them.”

I suppose I never thought about it that way before but it makes sense.  And it highlights something I am going to start calling “The Put Your Oxygen Mask On First Before Helping Others Principle”.  If we aren’t careful to take time to allow ourselves to decompress we just won’t be able to be of much help to anyone else. 

So let me suggest something – pretend we are on a plane and the stewardess is telling us to go ahead and put our oxygen masks on…maybe take the weekend to do that and take a deep breathe in…so next week we can feel strong enough to help others…

Allow Your History To Inspire Others

Everyone has a story…a history…a series of failures and mistakes that have shaped them into the person they are today.  I, for one, believe we shouldn’t be ashamed of our story. Our story is what helped us become the person we are. That story is what taught us great life lessons that we might not have learned otherwise. That story is what will help us make better and wiser decisions in our future. That story is who we are…

Growing up when I heard others share their life stories, it was their mishaps and failures and even mistakes that ended up having the most profound impact on me. 

I remember in Elementary School having a speaker come in and share his story of how he had bullied another boy until that boy he bullied became so distraught that he took his own life. Now this boy that did the bullying was sharing how sorry he was for what he had done and how much he wished that he could take back the teasing and the bullying so that other boy would still be here today. Hearing this boys story made my stomach sick, but it also helped me understand at a young age that our words matter, even when they are said in a teasing or sarcastic way…they hurt. And we can’t take back the words once they leave our mouths. Hearing his story inspired me to want to be careful with my own words in life.

I remember in Jr High School a woman who had been a drug addict came and spoke to us about her struggles with drug addiction. She shared how it took over her entire life to the point that she had given up all of her agency to the drugs. She even shared how she tried to cut off her own hand while high on acid because she thought her limbs could pop off and on again. She then shared how she changed her life and overcame her addiction. I can tell you that the impact of her story was so powerful that I’ve never once been tempted to try drugs in my life – not even a little bit. I think her story had a little to do with that.

I remember as a young adult hearing a business person share the story of their multiple failures before they found success. Hearing his story helped me to recognize that the times we fail aren’t really failures so long as we get back up and learn something from them that makes us better going forward. Hearing his story inspired me so much that it helped me to have courage each time I tried and failed to get back up until I achieved success.

All those peoples’ stories of overcoming hardships and standing up after falling down, along with many others, are what inspired me to want to be better in my own life. And how unfortunate would it be if those people hadn’t been willing to share their story? How different would my life have turned out if I hadn’t been inspired by hearing from them? 

My life history is full of mistakes, failures, and lessons learned. And while I wish I’d been smart enough to never make any mistakes at all, I’m grateful I’ve at least been smart enough not to repeat my same mistakes twice which is the most important thing – that we learn from each of our mistakes and move forward wiser than we were before. 

Never be ashamed of your history…it’s what you do with your present and future that matters most. And never discount the impact your story could have on someone else’s life. It might just be that your past mistakes and failures will be the very thing that inspires others to be better with their lives. Use your story for good.

 

Faith Over Fear

This blog post today has been growing for quite some time and I had to share my heart and faith with you. If, like me, you are feeling broken and disheartened, I hope this gives you just a bit of hope. I'm there for you, I see you, I understand what life can be like and I pray for you. 

Beloved, if you are feeling broken as you read this today, know that I am thinking of you and I am praying for you. I speak Jesus over every hurt, trauma, situation or circumstance you are facing today.

I pray this word of encouragement the Lord gave to me for you will comfort your heart and bring breakthrough into any area of your life that needs it today.

Today, just before 10AM, I received a familiar type of phone call for these last couple of years. It was more bad news. This time cancer had struck another loved one and in the blink of an eye they were gone.

But that was just the beginning of the phone call. From there, the negative reports just continued to pour in. I felt anger rise up on the inside of me and my heart became increasingly heavy and hopeless.

I’ll be honest with you friends; heavy and hopeless are two words that I have become increasingly acquainted with over the course of these many months. 

Each time there would be a break in bad news and ‘drama,’ I’d take a sigh of relief, only to see it return with a vengeance.

It appeared as though attacks were happening on every side: family, finances, work, health, emotions — you name it.

I’ve been exhausted, tired of having to fight all the time. It has often felt like the rollercoaster ride from Hell. Up and down, up and down, up and back down again. I’ve screamed but not because of excitement or fun, that’s for sure!

Can you relate? Have you been feeling the heaviness of stress, pressure, problems, and life?

Though you may feel alone and are reeling from the rejection, suffering, depression, and confusion, Jesus sees you. He hears you and He knows your pain well.

The beauty of following Jesus is that we do not serve a God who cannot understand what we are going through or have been through.

He gently loves us back to life, giving us the grace and strength to overcome any attack, any weakness, any stronghold, or situation.

In fact, because of Jesus’ overwhelming love and compassion for you, He intercedes (prays) for us seated at the right hand of God. – Romans 8:34

I Speak Jesus Over You

After that phone call this morning, I had to be intentional about guarding my heart from the discouragement and despair attempting to suck me back into that black hole.

Instead of allowing my feelings to determine my faith, I began to pray in the Spirit and let my faith speak to my feelings.

As I did this, I listened to the song, “I Speak Jesus.”

In that moment, I strongly felt the nudge of Holy Spirit to come here and write this for you.

I believe this is the heart of Father God for you right now, in the middle of the mess you’re facing.

I hope you will take a few moments to listen and allow these words to wash comfort over your aching heart.

Lyrics:

I just want to speak the name of Jesus
. Over every heart and every mind. ‘Cause I know there is peace within your presence 
I speak Jesus

I just want to speak the name of Jesus
 Till every dark addiction starts to break
 Declaring there is hope and there is freedom
 I speak Jesus

‘Cause your name is power
 Your name is healing 
Your name is life 
Break every stronghold 
Shine through the shadows
 Burn like a fire

I just want to speak the name of Jesus
 Over fear and all anxiety
 To every soul held captive by depression
 I speak Jesus

Your name is power
 Your name is healing
 Your name is life
 Break every stronghold
 Shine through the shadows 
Burn like the fire

Shout Jesus from the mountains
 Jesus in the streets
 Jesus in the darkness over every enemy

Jesus for my family 
I speak the holy name
 Jesus

As I speak Jesus over you – I command all darkness to flee from your life. I command all that is not of God to line up with the Truth of what He says about you. I speak life that informs dead things in your life to breathe again, and healing that restores all that is broken.

I speak Jesus over your finances and any area of lack and decree prosperity

I speak Jesus over your struggling marriage and call forward restoration and love

I speak Jesus over your kids for protection of their minds and lives

I speak Jesus over that addiction and command it to break

I speak Jesus to your mind and command it to be made whole in peace

I speak Jesus to your heart and call it whole, happy, and blessed

I speak Jesus to your family and call it healed and restored

I speak Jesus to your health and say by His stripes, YOU ARE HEALED

I speak Jesus to your business and call it blessed

I speak Jesus over your home and call it a sanctuary of His goodness

I speak Jesus over the Prodigal sons and daughters – calling them home

I speak Jesus over our nations – calling them holy and righteous

I speak Jesus over everyone who has not had a personal encounter with His love

I speak Jesus over all chaos and command it to line up with His Divine order

I encourage you, friend, to speak the name of JESUS over any need you have right now. Even if all you can say is “JESUS!,” that’s enough!

He is the Lover of your Soul, The Way, The Truth, and The Life, The Counselor, The Healer, The WayMaker, Provider & Friend.

He won’t let you down like people do. Run to Him. He longs to fill you with His peace and His presence.

The longer we linger there in the safety of His arms, the more we realize how weak anything else is compared to His glorious power.

Most of all, because of His great love for you – He wants to see you whole, free, and blessed even more than you want it for yourself.

“There is so much brokenness, hatred, addiction, and darkness in the world, but in the name of Jesus there is wholeness, love, freedom, and light.”

There is no darkness found in Christ. He is The Light. Where light is, there can be no darkness. His perfect love casts out all fear and His Glory uncovers all that is wrong so it can be made right.

All hope is not lost. You are not forgotten or abandoned. The Son will shine again. I speak Jesus over you and all that concerns you.